With new horror films a dime a dozen these days, coming up with something that’s novel, innovative and creatively distinct is quite a challenge. I’m no fan of the elitist term ‘elevated’ horror, but whatever we choose to call it there’s undeniably been a surge in scope, creativity, complexity and emotional depth within the horror genre over the last ten to twenty year; triggered around the release of The Babadook and picked up by the combined forces of Ari Aster and A24, Jordan Peele and Robert Eggers. At the other end of the spectrum, there’s I Heart Willie – a slasher centred upon a disfigured and wildly indiscriminate serial killer masquerading as Mickey Mouse.

In a climate where the most comforting of childhood characters have been turned into maleficent and sadistic butchers, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 1 and 2 leap to mind, Mickey Mouse is an obvious contender for a culture switch. In fact, I Heart Willie was not the only film that saw our lovable rodent hijacked into the dark side, 2024 also saw the horror rampage of Jamie Bailey’s The Mousetrap.  But for I Heart Willie, our killer is based on the earliest incarnation of Mickey Mouse, taken from 1928’s Steamboat Willie - literally. In what is actually quite an inspired plot point, we discover (early on) that Disney took inspiration for his new character from a disfigured child mocked and ridiculed for his half-human human-half half-mouse features. No guessing who the child was – yes, the trope of the vengeful disfigured slayer is back - and in a warped, maniacal tribute, our killer has taken to wearing a Steamboat Willie mask while he devotes his time to creating a suit of skin, Buffalo Bill style, from the bodies of the ensnared strangers unfortunate enough to cross his path. Older in years than perhaps seems credible, our Willie and his exploits have become the thing of legend.

The core of the narrative is actually centred around two filmmaker friends who scour the country looking for tales of horror to exploit on their YouTube channel - this time they’re investigating ‘Steamboat Willie’. But unbeknownst to them, and this is where the film starts to lose all semblance of credibility, one of their accompanying pals is actually a budding psychopath with murine dreams of her own, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘final girl’. What follows is a frankly ridiculous slasher-esque tale that, despite its admittedly unique storyline, falls flat in a mire of gore and bad acting.

Directed by Alejandro G. Alegre and written by David Vaughn who also plays our marauding madman, this is a horror film that replaces any sense of tension with gratuitous gore and a killer that is little short of dull. The four ‘kids’ are in the slasher mould - there to be picked off, but they couldn’t be of less interest. Traditionally, we’re not meant to particularly care about our killer’s victims, and you really don’t, especially with such poor acting performances. This is, of course, not helped by the numerous plot holes - it’s a slasher, yes, but still. I’m all for low-budget, straight down the line horror fun, but this is not it. I do not Heart Willie.