Archgoat — Heavenly Vulva (Christ's Last Rites)

An unwritten law of black metal says that if a band has GOAT spelled in their moniker then they must be good. It's almost incredible how often this assumption is right, and this is no exception: Archgoat are a legendary Finnish black metal band with a very scarce albeit extra-kvlt discography and totally lurid, perverted style and attitude.

While being active since 1989, "Heavenly Vulva" is their first release since their (only second!) full length "The Light-Devouring Darkness" in 2009. The albums intro is forgettable dark ambient with creepy pitched-down vocals in reverse; the usual inevitable opening to every black metal record. Fortunately from then on the fun starts: an immediate blast of straight, plain, filthy, raw, fuck-all black/thrash metal kicks in and carries on for the whole length of the EP. It's fast, dirty and uncompromising just as it should be! "Heavenly Vulva" is pure drunken metal destruction with strong roots in early U.K. and Scandinavian black/thrash metal.

Some might object to the effected (again, pitch shifter at work here) vocals but in my opinion they fit perfectly in the disgusting sexual flow of this EP, making it share a bit of common ground with porn grind bands a-la Meat Shits or 2 Minuta Dreka. There's also just enough keyboard work to add some spice. It's very successful in not turning everything cheesy or, Satan forbid, symphonic.

Now we'll just have to sit patiently, gulp down a  thousand beers and wait a few years for a new release.. I sincerely recommend the "Heavenly Vulva" EP to all fans of ugly extreme metal.